Malachi 2

MARRIAGE MATTERS

When a Japanese publishing company launched its first ever DIVORCE magazine last month, they called it LIZ. It’s named after Elizabeth Taylor, because according to the magazine’s editor, when the Japanese think of people associated with divorce, Elizabeth Taylor is the first name that comes to mind.

They expect to sell 50000 copies of the first issue.

But Liz Taylor has got nothing on the world’s MOST MARRIED MAN, who died a few months ago at the age of 88. Glynn Wolfe had been married 29 times. His name is in the Guinesses Book of Records as the world record holder.

But the tragedy is, when he died of heart disease in an American nursing home on the 10^th of June, none of his 29 ex wives wanted to know about it. No one claimed his body. No one wanted to pay for the funeral. And so he was buried in an unmarked grave.

His shortest marriage lasted 19 days. And his longest was seven years.

In America they turned him into a celebrity. At his last wedding, the TV cameras were there in force. But in death, it’s very clear, isn’t it. The most married man. Had no one to bury him.

These days, it seems like DIVORCE is everywhere you look, doesn’t it. A Sydney real estate agent says that most people tend to think the biggest sector of the Real Estate market is the newlyweds who are FIRST HOME BUYERS; looking to buy a house and settle down. But he says, they’re a MINORITY. The single biggest group in the Sydney real estate market are the DIVORCEES. Who are SELLING UP the family home. And looking to buy smaller, separate houses. And almost one in every three sales, that’s the story.

Which means it’s pretty safe to say to you here this morning, if you haven’t been divorced yourself, at the very least you’ve been TOUCHED BY IT. A family member. Son or daughter. Close friend.

And I know it’s a sensitive issue. But it’s one that the passage we’re looking at today tackles head on. And we need to hear what God’s saying.

We’re going to focus especially on verses 11 to 16 in Malachi 2, where Malachi confronts MARRIAGE ISSUES … as an overall indicator of something bigger.

It’s as if he’s saying that the state of MARRIAGE back then in Israel is an indication of a deeper problem. Which I think it always is.

This is the passage with that famous verse that can be used in a very insensitive way. If you want to know what God thinks about divorce, here it is. Verse 16; let’s face it and get it over with. "I HATE DIVORCE" says the Lord God of Israel.

To which you’d have to say, if you’ve been divorced yourself, makes a lot of sense. And my guess would be you’d be wanting to say HERE HERE! I mean, it’s not insensitive at all, is it. In spite of how some people might want to quote a verse like that at other people in a critical sort of way. The fact is, it’s INCREDIBLY SENSITIVE. Because instead of saying he DOESN’T CARE about it, God’s actually saying he KNOWS WHAT IT’S LIKE. He KNOWS THE RESULTS. He knows the PAIN that comes from fracturing marriages, fracturing families. And he HATES IT. Because it wasn’t meant to be that way.

Almost everyone I know who has been through a divorce says exactly the same thing. THEY HATE IT. And it’s been one of the worst times of their lives.

I met one person who said the opposite. She said, "Getting rid of my husband was the best thing I’ve ever done. Getting divorced was TERRIFIC" To which you’ve got to say, now THAT’s insensitive. It’s not only insensitive. It’s absolutely GODLESS.

The right way to look at divorce is to recognise that it’s something full of pain. That God hates. As much as we should.

But I want to step back from the issue of divorce for a few minutes, and look at the passage as a whole. To get the big picture; to see the bigger problem that lies behind the problem of divorce.

And you’ll see the bigger problem highlighted back in verse 10; and it’s worth taking a look.

Malachi says to these people of Israel, he says "Have we not all on Father? Did not one God create us? He says, "THEN WHY do we profane the covenant of our fathers by BREAKING FAITH WITH ONE ANOTHER."

Now if you’re in a home group, you’ll be working through the FULL OF PROMISE STUDY BOOK. That takes you right through the Old Testament. And you’ll know that the most fundamental theme that comes up over and over in the old testament, the story line that holds it all together, is that GOD HAS MADE A COVENANT. A CONTRACT. God spoke to Abraham, and made a covenant with him; he said "From you I’ll make a nation." And they’ll be MY OWN SPECIAL PEOPLE. He said "I’ll give you a land." And through your offspring, I’ll bring blessing to the world.

That’s the covenant. That’s the promise. And in response to that, the people of Israel were called to be FAITHFUL. To honour the God who saved them in every part of their lives.

So will you notice with me in verse 10 that when Malachi talks about PROFANING THE COVENANT OF THEIR FATHERS, that’s what he’s talking about. The covenant God made with Abraham.

And the one thing you can say about God as we’ve worked our way through the Old Testament so far, is that when he PROMISES SOMETHING, it STAYS PROMISED. God is absolutely faithful to his word.

I heard an old businessman talking the other day. He was remembering a time when they didn’t need lawyers. They didn’t even need contracts. He said, you could do business with a handshake. No matter how big the deal, no matter how much was at stake, a handshake was a handshake. A word was a bond.

Which is how it is with God. And how it’s MEANT to be with God’s people. It’s not like that these days, is it. And it’s not like that back in Israel either.

And that’s the underlying problem.

See, if you’re serving a God of faithfulness, you’re called to be FAITHFUL. If you’re serving a God who keeps covenants, then YOU keep covenants as well.

And Israel is just the opposite. And their marriages are a prime example of that.

The first indicator is in verse 11 and 12. That instead of looking to marry fellow Israelites, the men of Judah are taking wives from outside. Idol worshippers. Which was the one thing God had especially forbidden.

And the second indicator is their attitude to DIVORCE. You want to see a picture of someone who can’t be trusted? Have a look at this. Verse 13 to 15.

They cry crocodile tears at the altar of God, they wonder why God’s not please with them. And the answer is this. Verse 14. "You ask ‘WHY?’ Here’s why. "It’s because the Lord is acting as a witness between you and the wife of your youth, BECAUSE YOU HAVE BROKEN FAITH WITH HER, though she is your PARTNER, the wife of your marriage covenant."

Glynn Wolfe, that guy who was married 29 times, his son John said his father divorced one wife for eating sunflower seeds in bed. He divorced another one for using his toothbrush." Bad enough. But the thing Malachi sees when he looks around Israel is men who are divorcing their wives like you’d trade in a car.

A teenage romance, sweethearts; a beautiful young wife, and he makes all the promises in the world. We’ll be together for ever.

But then a few years down the track, it’s not quite so exciting. He starts looking around. Playing the field. And instead of saying I HAVE MADE A COVENANT WITH YOU for better for worse, richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death us do part, the men of Israel make their marriage covenants UNTIL SOMETHING BETTER COMES ALONG.

And they thing the God of covenants doesn’t care about that. Keep reading from verse 15. Of course he cares! "Hasn’t the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. God designed the marriage covenant as the GLUE for families. So he says GUARD YOURSELF in your spirit, AND DO NOT BREAK FAITH WITH THE WIFE OF YOUR YOUTH."

It may be that you’re here today and you know what it’s like to be treated like that. To be abused in a marriage. And then walked out on. To be used. And traded in. And I guess Malachi’s right in aiming what he’s saying mainly at MEN. Because it seems that in spite of the Elizabeth Taylors of the world, it’s usually the men who do it.

You know, there’s a sense in which marriage breakdowns outside of the church are no real surprise. You don’t expect non-Christians to care much about God’s values do you; but with Christians, it’s meant to be different. The statistics say it IS DIFFERENT, too. But only by about 9 percent. As Christians, our divorce rate lags just a bit behind non-Christians.

Malachi says to the people of Israel, you’re the people who serve the PROMISE KEEPING GOD. So KEEP YOUR PROMISES to one another. Guard your marriages. Practice being faithful. He says, your marriage covenant is a mirror that reflects your covenant with God. And his covenant with you.

And it’s not only Malachi who sees marriage as a reflection of our relationship with God, is it? The New Testament says so as well.

Take a minute to turn over to Ephesians chapter 5; if you read from verse 22, you’ll see Paul’s saying exactly the same thing. That the MARRIAGE COVENANT is meant to be a picture of us relating to Jesus.

And let me start with husbands. Where Malachi aimed the blowtorch. Ephesians chapter 5, verse 25. Husbands, LOVE YOUR WIVES, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.

Guys, if you’re married you need to hear this. Because it takes things a notch beyond Malachi, doesn’t it. Malachi said, STAY FAITHFUL. Like God is faithful. To which Paul adds LOVE YOUR WIFE. Like Jesus loved the church.

He loved the church so much he went to his death. Death by nailing. Death by hanging by your nailed up wrists. The death he died as payment for our sins.

Love the wife of your youth that much. That you’d give up your whole self. For her benefit. It’s more than just "not leaving", isnt’ it?

And wives; he says, submit to your husband just as the church submits to Christ. Respecting his loving leadership. Thankful for his loving sacrifice.

You know, I know Christian men who take that passage as an excuse for making every decision, for being authoritarian, for limiting their wives in all sorts of ways. Making them submit. Which means they’re reading exactly the wrong part of the passage. Blokes, you read the MEN’S bit – about loving her so much you’ll give up your life for her. And let your WIFE read the other bit. And work out the submission part for herself.

But can you see again, the marriage covenant, it’s meant to be a great reflector of the relationship we have with God. Marked by INTEGRITY. Marked by SELF SACRIFICE. Marked by submission instead of standing on rights. A picture of love the way Jesus loved us. A picture of submission the way we submit to Jesus.

Malachi says, it’s not like that in Israel. And they’re profaning the covenant with God by the way they’re TREATING ONE ANOTHER.

Can I ask you today, are YOU guilty of that… in your marriage? Maybe in other ways. See, in the end this is not just about DIVORCE. It’s bigger than that, isn’t it. It’s about the SORT OF PERSON YOU ARE. It’s about your commitment to being a FAITHFUL PERSON. It’s about your commitment to being a COVENANT PERSON. Someone whose word is their bond.

As the people of God, that’s the sort of thing that ought to MARK US OUT AS BEING DIFFERENT. In business, is YOUR WORD your BOND? Or do you say, "Ah, I said it, but it’s NOT IN WRITING. So I can do what I like."

There was an interesting study done in America last year. They fitted a bunch of people with microphones and recorded everything they said over a couple of weeks. Then they went back and analysed it for LIES. Times when they stretched the truth.

You know the result? They reckon the average person tells some sort of lie once every 8 minutes. "Yeah, the cheque’s in the mail." "Yeah, I’ll do that straight away."

Because we belong to the God who keeps his promises, we need to reflect that. Everywhere. By being people of absolute integrity. ESPECIALLY in our marriages.

Forget the old excuse. You know the one – well, we’ve both changed. We’ve grown apart. We’re different people now to who we were when we got married. God says to you today, "GUARD YOURSELF IN YOUR SPIRIT. And do not break faith with the wife of your youth. And don’t profane the covenant of God – by breaking faith with one another.